The Illusion of Corporate Fami-lies: Unveiling the Manipulative Tactics behind the 'We Are a Family' Slogan

Imagine searching for a job, scrolling aimlessly, reading posting after posting and then you see one saying "We are a Family here at XYZ and we would love to have you join us…." and before you know it, you are applying happily, thinking you found your potential place to be that will fulfill all your career goals and dreams. I mean, they will treat you like family, right? What can go wrong?

Using the slogan "we are a family" has become a norm in the recruiting and hiring process so chances are you have run into several companies who are taking pride in these "values". But is it real?

This choice of words creates an emotional connection with employees and consumers and in turn makes consumers and employees more loyal to follow the company, their policies, rules and regulations, products and services. However, beneath the surface, it can happen that a darker truth often lies. In this blog post, we will explore the hidden motives and sometimes manipulative tactics utilized by organizations using this slogan, and how you can recognize and avoid them.

Like mentioned the secret is so simple - the appeal of the slogan and concept lies in its ability to create an emotional connection. After all, we are just humans, and by being humans we have the innate desire for belonging and community. This usually goes hand in hand with our need for respect and self-actualizations. When a company or organization claims they treat their employees like family, we get drawn to this promise of camaraderie, security, and shared values.

And there you go - to us, it seems we have found a (work)place where we belong. To a company, they have gained a valued follower.

It can be very easy to label and market your company or brand as a family. After all, there is no authority that will control if a company is actually treating everyone like family, consumers and employees alike. In a work setting, very often this slogan is first used as bait to attract new hire, and then can later be used as a tool to manipulate employee loyalty. What happens is that some companies exploit this sentiment to blur professional and personal boundaries.

“Family is a socially recognized group (usually joined by blood, marriage, cohabitation, or adoption) that forms an emotional connection among its members and that serves as an economic unit of society.”

How can this look like and how can you recognize it in your workplace?

Employees may feel pressured to work long hours, sacrifice personal time, and suppress dissenting voices in the name of loyalty. It can be as simple as staying a few extra unpaid hours at the office because after all, you would do that for family. It can be a sudden online meeting on the weekend that is just an hour long - not much to give to stay a part of the family and prove you still posses the shared family values.

However, what do you think would happen if you asked to be compensated for those hours?

Well, you are a big, happy family, why would you get paid for family duties? This is where the blurring of professional and personal boundries comes in. Sometimes the signs are very subtle and may not be noticed or impact you as much. Unfortunately, it may happen with time, though, the whole notion can grow even more complex as you stop questioning the validity and integrity of their decisions. As an example, let’s say you learn the company is cutting a bonus they were giving you. Then a few months later, after maybe hearing some employees whisper their disapproval, a decision is made to grant employees a raise that they had been asking for (sometimes for a long time). Many employees will smile with triumph, but once you make a calculation, you realize the raise is less than what the bonus was. Essentially, you still get paid less but now a spectacle has been made of a raise and of course, they are betting on your loyalty not to be so ungrateful and raise the question of  "why am I in the end still paid less and why are you portraying it like the best thing that has ever happened for us?". Most likely, no one will questions anything and life will go on.

The result of all this? A workforce controlled by emotional obligations rather than a fair and transparent professional environment.

Under the guise of being a family, organizations can hide power dynamics within their ranks. The whole talk of inclusivity and unity can mask hierarchical structures and suppress transparency. Employees may feel compelled to conform, fearing repercussions for voicing concerns or challenging authority. Bottom line is, if you are not able to voice your ideas, raise questions and clhallenge decisions that impact you directly, chances are you are NOT really treated as family, but rather work under a parade of the false likelihood of the slogan. In fact, this toxic dynamic can undermine trust, hinder progress, and limit the potential for innovation and growth - and not just your growth, but the growth of your entire team, organization and company.

You may think, how is that possible. A company that was so positive when hiring you, a company that took you in and helped you navigate your career, maybe even promoted you at some point… it can’t be that this is all manipulation? However, this altruism may merely be a facade, with profit and market dominance as the true driving forces. Clients and consumers are more drawn to a product or service if they know that the company or organization selling it treats their employees as family, because it makes them feel good to invest their time and money then into a product or service that comes from a company or organization that is projecting an image of a caring, human-centered environment. You can’t really blame the consumer or client, in the end - who doesn’t want to be a driver of good in this world?

The long-term consequences of prioritizing profit over healthy boundaries can be significant. When companies exploit the notion of being a family for their own gain, trust erodes, and slowly but surely employee morale suffers. Ultimately, this can lead to higher turnover rates, reduced productivity, and a weakened company culture. It is vital for organizations to prioritize genuine connections and foster an environment based on trust, transparency, and mutual respect. One thing you can do when you enter a new workplace is seek out those who have been in the company for years and ask them how do they see the company has changed since they got hired, how they have been treated and how do they see themselves growing in the company. If you can’t find anyone that has been in the company for a long time - that’s already a sign something is not right. In the end, it is up to you to use good judgement and deciphere what is the truth and what is not.

So, are all companies labeling themselves with a slogan "We are a family" fake? Not necessarily.

Believe it or not, there are companies that treat their employees with respect and integrity, but most likely they will not label themselves as a family as they will understand you probably have a real family to focus on (whether that is your partner, spouse, parents, brothers, sisters, children, nieces, newphews, cats, dogs, goldfish or that spider in the corner of your room you never clean). These companies will treat you as an employee with benefits and trust me, without advertising it, you will feel like family. Except you won’t be pressured into it.

Also, real family owned companies, that stay within a family and maybe a small number of employees, can treat you like an extended member of the family (though, if they are owners, keep in mind, you will never be the owner - hence, you will be like an extended family member).

Something to keep in mind is that while the "we are a family" slogan may initially sound appealing, it is essential to look beyond the surface. Companies often use this rhetoric to exploit employee loyalty, conceal power dynamics, and manipulate consumer perceptions. As individuals, we must critically evaluate these claims and seek genuine connections where trust and transparency thrive. By doing so, we can support organizations that prioritize ethical practices and create a positive and inclusive work environment.

What should you do if you are in a company that is falsely claiming "We are a Family" and it in negatively affecting your life, work-life balance and maybe even mental health?

First, I would say - do not quit out of nowhere and without having a backup! Chances are, maybe you still like your job but don’t like the environment. I have some tips and tricks to share that might make you rethink quitting. Read below for my personal recommendations on handling a toxic environment and separating your personal and work life.

1. Review employment contracts and policies: Familiarize yourself with your employment contract and company policies to understand your rights and responsibilities. It always astounds me how many clients I have that have not really known what they actually signed up for.

2. Define your boundaries: With your work duties legally clarified, take some time to reflect on what you are comfortable with in terms of personal information sharing, work hours, and involvement outside of your professional responsibilities and working time. Clearly identify your boundaries and priorities and don’t be fooled by the work family values promise. You are paid for a service. And last time I checked - family came for free (whether you like it or not).

3. Communicate your boundaries: Once you have defined your limits, communicate them assertively but respectfully with your employer and colleagues. Let them know your expectations and explain how certain practices may affect your personal life. See how they react and make notes of it. You got this.

4. Learn to say no: This is so important. Did you know the more you say yes to requests you dislike, the more you will keep on being asked to do them? It's essential to recognize when requests or demands from your employer exceed your agreed-upon role and responsibilities. Be prepared to say no respectfully, offering alternative solutions if possible.

5. Manage your devices and communication channels: Maintain a clear distinction between your work and personal life by using separate devices for each. If your employer expects constant availability, set boundaries around when and how you can be reached. Communicate your preferred channels and times of response, ensuring you have dedicated downtime for yourself.

6. Take breaks and vacations: Take those days off! Ensure you take regular breaks to recharge and maintain a healthy work-life balance. Plan and utilize your vacation time to disconnect entirely from work obligations.

7. Practice self-care: Establish self-care routines outside of work that help you relax and maintain a healthy mindset. Having a life outside of work can help you draw thouse boundries.

8. Seek support: Connect with colleagues who share similar concerns and establish a support network. Sharing experiences and insights can help validate your boundaries and provide guidance on dealing with blurred lines at work. It can also help you gain strength to draw necessary boundries and learn how to say no.

There you go. Some survival tips to get you through. If you are still convinced you need to change your workplace, then my advice is first make an Escape Plan before you jump into writing a resignation letter. Escape Plans are very motivational. To explain in the shortest way possible, this is your plan on how you will manage your work and life while you are in your current workplace and which steps you will take to free yourself from it and move on to greener pastures (which means until you land a new job). You can read more about them here.

Comin up with more solutions, my program It’s All About Balance - Mastering the Art of Work-Life Balance and The Game Changer: Unlocking Your Dream Career are both great options for those who want to create a healthy work-life balance, learn how to say no and draw healthy boundries and for those who want to change their jobs, switch to a new career or find their true calling.

“The path forward is a winding road filled with change and endless possibilities.”