10 Confidence-Boosting Habits to Try
Confidence plays a significant role both in everyday life and in the workplace. Confidence can boost your effective communication, enhance decision making, make you a better leader, build resilience and help you in networking more easily. With all of these in hand, snatching a promotion or making a transition to a new career is a lot easier when you are confident in yourself, your skills and your experience.
So, the question is, are you?
Why is confidence so important?
Cultivating confidence can have significant benefits both in everyday life and in the workplace. Many professionals think they have enough confidence and dismiss it as something that they don’t need to work on. Confidence is also something that cannot really be separated, which means if you lack confidence in your private life, most likely it will spill over into your professional life, and vice versa.
How can you know if you need to work on your confidence? There are some signs that can help you analyze your actions and therefore figure out if you have confidence issues to work on. Avoidance of challenges and negative self-talk are quite common signs. Seeking approval from others and comparing yourself to others is also a sign of lack of confidence. If you have difficulty asserting yourself and saying ‘no’ that can also be a lack of confidence. Procrastination is a common coping mechanism and so is perfectionism, though they may be at different ends, their roots can be in lack confidence to own up to your skills and potential. Sometimes, even every day occurances, like difficulty receiving a compliment can show that you lack confidence on one or another level.
If you identify with any of these signs, it doesn't mean you lack confidence irreparably. Instead, it suggests areas where you could focus on building your confidence. That’s why we are all here, to be and do better, because we can and we want to.
Read on to find 10 tips on how to boost your confidence!
“You don’t have to change who you are. You have to become more of who you are.”
10 Confidence-Boosting Habits
There are many articles that will tell you very vague things like you should working on self-awareness, challenge negative thoughts, set achievable goals, learn to say ‘no’ and in the end will advise you to seek support from friends, family, or a professional. Here are 10 habits that YOU can incorporate into your life immediatelly that will start making a difference in your life NOW!
Habit 1: Positive Affirmations
Positive affirmations are positive, affirming phrases that help you build confidence, increase motivation and keep you going when it may be tough, push you to reach goals and help you unleash your inner strength. If you are thinking along the lines of ‘sounds like brainwashing’ - in a way - yes, it is. But everyone needs a good mind shift and reset every now and then. You can say them aloud to yourself or in your head. You can also write them down or record and listen to them. YouTube is full of affirmation videos to listen to, just make sure you repeat them yourself, as well.
We are exposed to a lot of information on a daily bases. It is scientifically proven your brain works as a sponge and will absorb anything you give it. So why not give it some positivity? The best way to make an affirmation is to use ‘I’ sentence and craft a sentence in present, ongoing tense. Examples of confidence-boosting affirmations are:
‘I am confident in my skills’
‘I am developing my public speaking skills’
‘I am resilient to negativity in my work place’
‘I am advancing my career every day’
Positive affirmations are there to build you up so they can be customized for your unique purpose. There are also affirmations such as ‘Confidence comes naturally to me’ or ‘Asserting myself with my superiors is easy’. They are also great, but make sure not to use negative wording phile phrasing an affirmation, and never, ever use future tense. Repeat multiple times throughout the day. For example, 30 times upon waking up, 30 times during the day (best would be when you have a mirror in front of you) and 30 times when in bed, before falling asleep.
Habit 2: Setting Goals and Celebrating Achievements
Believe it or not, setting small, achievable goals and then celebrating those achievements can set you up for a confidence boost and, later on, for achieving bigger goals. One step at a time. If you achieve a smaller, in your mind, more easily accessible goal, then you will realize that your fear of failure can be overcome. You will create a healthy, new pattern of setting a goal, working for it, reaching it and experiencing happiness for doing so. Once you tap into that potential it will just keep growing. To make sure you can achieve succesfull goals, you can learn how to set SMART goals first and slowly work from there. SMART goals are specific, measurable, achievable, realistic/relevant and time-bound.
Your goals don’t have to be big. If you are afraid of failing, try something easy - it can even be drinking 6 cups of water during work hours. Make sure to stick to it every day. Your goal can be ‘I want to drink 6 cups of water every day, for one month, during work hours, because keeping hydrated helps me focus and concentrate better at tackling my daily tasks. After one month you will be happy to have stuck through and created a healthy habit. Two important things here are to make a goal you actually care about and above all, understand why it is important. Unless you really know scientifically how hydration helps you be better at work, your motivation will drop day by day because you will not understand the purpose. And unless you deeply wish to be better at focus and concentration, the same thing will happen. Understand your ‘why’ and find a goal that would actually serve the purpose you care about.
Once you reach it, celebrate. You don’t have to throw a party, but make sure to honor what you achieved in one way or another, even if it’s just rewarding yourself with cake or a glass of bubbly.
Habit 3: Self-Care Routine
Self-care is a form of self-love and self-respect. You can not expect to be respected and loved if you do nothing for yourself and you don’t take care of yourself. I have seen time and time again how people look up to others who take care of themselves. ‘I wish I could be like that person’. I always tell people they can, but they need to start from themselves, not from comparing themselves to others. The reason people find it hard to create a self-care routine is usually down to three reasons. One is that maybe you were taught you need to always put other before you as you don’t want to be selfish. The second reason is not realizing that taking care of yourself is actually a form of investment in yourself. And the third is not having enough time for things you want to do which comes down to prioritizing and time-management problems. Eliminating these beliefs and focusing on your self-care will boost your confidence as well.
How can you start incorporating self-care? What you need to know is that self-care is essential and can be physical, emotional, spiritual, psychological, social and even financial. Creating a healthy nutrition plan, getting enough sleep, creating a skin-care routine, limiting stress, drawing healthy boundaries are just some examples of self-care that will help you establish confidence in the short and long run.
Habit 4: Surrounding Yourself with Positive Influences
Your vibe attratcs your tribe. But what if your tribe attracts negativity, laziness, procrastination, inactivity or boredom? Maybe it is time to rethink who you allow in your inner circle. Who are the people you socialize with? Do they lift you up or bring you down? You would be very surprised to see what kind of difference it makes if the people around you are there to build your confidence and support you or are just there to criticize and complain. Let’s go back to our goal of drinking 6 cups of water. You managed it, great for you! Share it with your friends and family. Who supports you? Who is your cheerleader? And who is the one who laughed because that is not even an important thing? Who dismissed it because they have something better to share?
No matter how long you may have known someone, a friend or family member, people change. What you can do is assertively express your feelings - that you would like support and encouregement. If that is met with a anything else except understanding and sympathy, move on. You deserve a tribe that will encourage not just confidence but your personal and professional growth.
Habit 5: Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone
Stepping out of your comfort zone can be a big step in gaining more confidence and it doesn’t have to be bungee jumping either! Imagine trying something you have never tried before, overcoming that uncertainty, anxiety, enjoying the ride and realizing you have done something new for yourself. Prove to yourself that you are comfortable with being uncomfortable. That is how you build confidence, trusting yourself even when you are stepping out of your comfort zone and feeling uncomfortable in it.
Stepping outside of your comfort zone can range from dining alone in a new restaurant to traveling to a place you have never been. Whatever is outside of your comfort zone - do that.
Habit 6: Mindfulness and Meditation
According to Headspace mindfullness and meditation can boost self-compassion, awareness, resilience, and other qualities that help improve self-esteem and confidence. All you need is a daily dose of meditaion and mindfulness. A daily meditation practice can help change your relationship with the thoughts and feelings that mess with your self-esteem. This is a time to shut out all external influences and focus on yourself, your thoughts, emotions, breath, posture and unwind from the world. It can also be a time to release all thoughts and emotions and silence what is known as ‘the monkey mind’. That means, focusing on calm and inner peace.
You would be surprised to see that it may be difficult to be mindful - meaning to be present and aware, let alone meditate. If meditation is foreign to you and 5 minutes of meditation seem like an eternity, start with mindfulness. Focus for one minute, set a timer on one thing in front of you. Sit straight, take deep breaths and calmly observe it, noticing all details. You can note them aloud or in your mind. Once the timer is up, you can continue with your daily agenda. We all have to start somewhere, and with time a 1-minute mindfulness practice can turn into a 1-minute meditation that will turn into a 5 minute meditation one day. Just keep going.
Habit 7: Physical Exercise
I cannot stress enough how important it is to have a healthy mind in a healthy body - ‘Mens sana in corpore sano’, as the Romans would say. It has been scientifically proven that there is a connection between physical activity and mental well-being. Exercise will increase your confidence, boost your mood, better your mental health and improve your concentration and alertness. On another level, it will improve your cardiovascular and overall physical health.
The World Health Organization recommends 150-300 minutes of moderate aerobic exercise per week for an adult to reap all the benefits of it, though in general, any exercise is better than none. But moderate aerobic exercise can be a brisk walk and 150 minutes is two-and-a-half hours. That would mean you need a brisk half an hour walk 5 days out of the week. And that doesn’t mean a dog walk. A brisk walk, at a minimum. There are so many exercises you can do to boost your confidence and invest in your well-being - think yoga, tennis, volleyball, swimming, hiking, kayaking, cycling, skating, running, pilates, bare, dancing, gym wourkouts, zumba etc. There is no excuse on this one, as even chair yoga exists for those with mobility issues.
Habit 8: Practicing Gratitude
Being grateful is a very powerful tool in building confidence, but also happiness and content. There is something to be grateful for every single day. You can always be grateful for a good night’s sleep, a glimmer of sunshine in the day, bumping into a friend or just being alive - some people will not have that privilege. Create a positive mindset and you will create space for confidence. A good tool I like to use with my clients is to let them journal what are the 3 things they are grateful for in their day.
Especially for those who struggle with confidence over how their personal and professional life is going, naming just 3 things that made them grateful is apowerful method I learned from the best, that will help anyone on their journey. Make your gratitude statements, the same like the affirmations - ‘I am grateful for…’ and keep it consistent every day to see a change in how you see yourself and your life.
Habit 9: Learning from Setbacks
Setbacks are important for building resilience and handling fear of failure. If you do not try, you will not fail. But you will not succeed either. So you need to try, building confidence in yourself that no matter if you try or fail, you can try again and do better next time. That is true resilience and that will boost your confidence. It can be scary but a setback or a failure is something to learn from.
It is a valuable lesson that you should take into account and see it as a way of moving forward. Instead of seeing it as a setBACK see it as SIDEstep. You are still on your goal path, just in the wrong lane. So, just switch lanes. Learn from your wrong sidestep, move over and continue.
Habit 10: Reflecting on Successes
Give yourself some credit for achieving success. You can give yourself a pat on the back too, you don’t have to wait for others to do it. Recognize your achievement and reflect on the path that led to it. What did you go through? Was it harder than you thought? Good for you for persevering! Was it easier than you thought? Excellent, you know you can do more now!
Compare your emotional and mental state before and after the achievement. How do you feel now, after the whole journey? Take time to reflect and even write down how the journey looks and feels like now. Chances are you will eventually forget, and having a written rememberance of it will help you in the future when you face challenges to remind you of the fact that once you reach your goal, it will be worth it.
Reflecting on your success also helps you dedicate time to yourself and honor the success itself. All the ups and downs are a part of the reflection. And once you realize that, your confidence will receive a boost, because you will realize that YES - you can do it.
Knowing these 10 confidence-boosting habits, you will be able to develop your self-confidence and feel powerful enough to embrace anything that comes your way. You don’t have to incorporate all habits at once. Choose one and stick with it for a month. Then add another. Then another, and another one. Start with whatever feels easier and more natural to you and work your way towards those that maybe you want to keep for later.
It is important to start and you have the tools to start. What is also important after starting, is to continue. Time will pass and in 6 months wyou will wonder why you didn’t start today.
“You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.”
While confidence is very important, so it the ability to follow through on that confidence, while using your expertise and skills. In a workplace, during your career this is a golden trait. What is it?
It’s perseverance. The value of perserverance has been undermined in today’s world where, we are used to instant gratification, along with a very high-pace of modern life. Our patience is lacking and persevering has become something of a modern myth on how some people managed to get rich or famous.
In next week’s blog I will write more about perseverance and how you can find the patience and motivation to persevere and reach your goals. And unfortunately, persevering is not easy. But if you take the time to learn how to handle it, you too, can achieve your goals.
At Ness Coaching, we learn about confidence and perseverance in all of the Coaching Programs like The Game Changer: Unlocking Your Dream Career, Talk the Talk: Impressing With Your Words and Presence, It’s all About Balance:Mastering the Art of Work-Life Balance and Lead by Example: The Ultimate Leadership Coaching Program!
You owe yourself to be confident in your own skin, and with your own, unique abilities. Ness Coaching is here for you with tailored one-on-one Coaching Programs that will guide you every step of the way!
Your Discovery Session is free of charge!
Book a FREE Discovery Session and see how with one click your can start creating the life you dreamed of!